[pfsb] it's so FLUFFY

[acrookedpath]

In Wei Wuxian's defense, it isn't as if he forgot one should never eat free food unless it came from Madam Bar or the waitrats. It's simply that after nearly a year where he has -- only on occasion, mind you! -- accepted food and drink from strangers with no ill effects, he may have let his guard slip. Just a little.

Besides, he was so absorbed in his work that for all he knew, a waitrat had deposited the little bowl of animal-shaped desserts on his table. It wouldn't have been the first time he failed to notice one of them trying to get his attention.

So when he absently picked up a cracker to nibble on it as he worked through a particularly thorny set of talisman calculations --

Well.

The little black rabbit that now sits on the table, a red ribbon looped around one ear, just wants it emphatically known that this was not his fault.

Comments

[acrookedpath]

In between his snickers, Wei Wuxian tosses a glance up at Lan Zhan, and nearly has to hide his face at the fondness in Lan Zhan's look. He is so beautiful when he is happy!

So that is our story. He nuzzles Saxifrage, then hops over to lean against Lan Zhan's leg. Part of it, at least. Ah, it is so nice to tell you about us and know you can understand what I say!

[lightamidchaos]

Lan Wangji rubs Wei Ying behind the ears, and after a moment of watching Cloudfoot comes over and puts a hopeful paw on his knee.

There is no way he can deny such a request, and he pets him as well.

I think so too, says Saxifrage.

[acrookedpath]

Cloudfoot's newfound boldness encourages Bearberry to edge closer as well; soon, Lan Zhan has a third rabbit gingerly sniffing at his robes.

Wei Wuxian snuggles close, eyes drifting shut in bliss. If you have your own stories to share, he says, I will tell every one of them to Lan Zhan when I am human again.

[lightamidchaos]

Oh, we do, El-ahrairah assures him, as Lan Wangji carefully splits his attention between Cloudfoot and Bearberry. And Rabscuttle and I are in most of them. I fear you will think us boastful.

[acrookedpath]

Never! He cracks open an eye and twitches his nose at El-ahrairah. Tell me of all your exploits, wangye -- one with a thousand enemies must have a thousand stories to match.

[lightamidchaos]

I do. But-- He swats Saxifrage lazily with a paw, and the younger rabbit sits up, ears twitching with pleasure and pride at having been asked.

I can tell them, he says. I learned from the great Dandelion himself, when I was just a kitten. Would you like to hear the story of the King's Lettuce? Or the adventure of Rowsby Woof and the Fairy Wogdog? Or--

[acrookedpath]

Both eyes snap open. Wei Wuxian's ears press back in terror, and in an instant, he has half-scrambled into Lan Zhan's lap.

Not the second one! he begs. No dogs! Aiyo, especially not when I am this small!

[lightamidchaos]

Instantly, Lan Wangji scoops him the rest of the way into his arms, holding him protectively, with one hand cradled around him as he looks for any sign of threat. Startled by Wei Wuxian's sudden fright, Bearberry crouches flat to the ground half-hidden by Lan Wangji's robes, and Cloudfoot stamps in alarm and leaps across the clearing to the mouth of the burrow before he can stop himself.

Saxifrage's eyes are wide and his ears flat back to his head as he says, hastily, Not that one then--

There are no dogs here, Wei Wuxian. El-ahrairah's voice is suddenly warm and rich and soothing. Not in my warren. You need not fear.

[acrookedpath]

There is such certainty in El-ahrairah's voice. It grasps hold of the panic, pushing it flat against the ground like a misbehaving kit. Wei Wuxian stills where he has buried himself, quivering in fright, against Lan Zhan's arms.

Slowly, his nose peeks into view; then one eye, still a little too wide.

I am sorry. His ears lay low in abject sheepishness. I did not mean to frighten everyone. Dogs... He shakes himself all over, then tucks himself into a smaller lump in Lan Zhan's embrace. I do not like them, even as a human.

[lightamidchaos]

Then you definitely have more sense than those humans who keep the wretched beasts as pets, Rabscuttle snorts. Don't apologize for having good sense. I could wish some people here did--

El-ahrairah leans sideways and swats the back of his head with a paw, then hops slowly forward to sit up on his hind legs in front of Lan Wangji. He leans up, stretching his nose out to touch Wei Wuxian's.

It's all right. Absolute certainty is in his voice.

[acrookedpath]

A tiny nod. Gingerly, Wei Wuxian stretches forward to El-ahrairah; even the brief bump of their noses meeting soothes the residual fright churning along his nerves.

He looks to Saxifrage. Lifting his ears, cautiously hopeful, he says, Will you tell me of the King's Lettuce, though?

[lightamidchaos]

El-ahrairah pulls back and flops on the ground a short distance in front of Lan Wangji, looking expectantly at Saxifrage, whose own ears raise as he brightens.

Gladly! he enthuses, and waits for the other rabbits to return. Cloudfoot chooses to settle near a few leaves of lettuce, appropriately enough, and Bearberry crawls out from under Lan Wangji's robe-edge to come join Rabscuttle in the loose circle.

Lan Wangji strokes a hand down Wei Ying's back, letting him make the choice about where he wants to be. Whatever had upset him seems to have passed, at least, although he will ask about this later.

Saxifrage looks around at them all, combs his paws over his nose, and declares, Now, it is said that there was a time, long ago, when El-ahrairah and all who followed him found that their luck had vanished. No matter where they turned, every hand was against them, and eventually they were driven out by their enemies and forced to live in the marshes of Kelfazin.

He sneezes at the thought. I do not know where that is, but certainly it is nowhere so nice as here.

No, El-ahrairah agrees. It's not. Nasty place, all damp and rotten--

It's Rabscuttle's turn to swat him, which he does with alacrity. Hush, my prince. Who is the storyteller here?

[acrookedpath]

Wei Wuxian chuffs a small laugh. He arranges himself into a comfortable loaf in Lan Zhan's lap as he listens, not wishing to move just yet. His nerves may have quieted, but he still feels more comfortable with Lan Zhan's hand on his back and the smooth folds of his robes beneath his paws.

[lightamidchaos]

Lan Wangji shifts his hand so that he can keep his palm comfortingly over Wei Ying's back and still stroke behind his ears with his thumb, evidently content to keep this up as long as Wei Ying wishes.

Fine, fine, El-ahrairah concedes, untroubled. Continue, Saxifrage, do.

The younger rabbit shakes his fur, settling himself, then says, As the prince says, the marshes were an awful place. There was no food but coarse, bitter grass, and any burrow that was dug soon filled with water. No one would want to live there! But the other animals had grown so suspicious of tricks, that they did not dare for El-ahrairah to be out and about in the world. And so every day, Prince Rainbow, who had been given the power of the sky and the hills and the ordering of the world itself by Lord Frith, used to come walking through the marshes to make sure El-ahrairah was still there.

Rabscuttle makes a sound that's clearly disapproval of Prince Rainbow, but is careful to keep it quiet enough not to disturb the story. Saxifrage continues,

One day, when Prince Rainbow came through, El-ahrairah met him, and challenged him, and dared him, and finally bargained with him that Prince Rainbow would release the rabbits from the marshes if El-ahrairah could steal the lettuces from King Darzin's garden.

Cloudfoot drags another lettuce closer and nibbles at it, clearly enjoying it in light of the story being told.

Now you must realize, King Darzin was great and powerful, the ruler of the largest city in the world, and he had a thousand guards for his garden alone, who patrolled it day and night. So when Prince Rainbow heard this challenge, he laughed and promised that if El-ahrairah could pull this trick, not only would he free the rabbits, he would personally see to it that no rabbit could be kept out of a vegetable garden ever again!

[acrookedpath]

Wei Wuxian's nose wrinkles at the description of the marshes. It sounds like the Burial Mounds; worse, even, for how it is a true prison rather than merely a home carved from an unforgiving place. He glances to El-ahrairah in his easy sprawl, ears twinkling under the dappled forest light, and twitches his whiskers in the smallest smile.

It is difficult not to feel a kinship with clever creatures who scrabble at the edges of the world.

Quite the challenge, and quite the reward to match! he says, pleased.

[lightamidchaos]

Indeed and it was! Saxifrage agrees. But treachery was at hand, because Yona the hedgehog had been snooping nearby, searching out slugs and snails, and overheard the bargain. He fled immediately to King Darzin to warn him, hoping to secure rewards for himself.

Bearberry snorts his opinion of that.

When El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle arrived at the garden to examine it and make a plan, they found that the guards had been doubled, and that every gardener and weeder was closely examined to make sure they were known. Frustrated, they retreated to the marshes, where Prince Rainbow taunted them with their lack of lettuce. But El-ahrairah told him, bold as anything, "Not to worry. I am having them delivered. There will be too many to carry."

They planned a day and a night in secret, and then the next night Rabscuttle went secretly to the field where the palace's children played during the day and dug a scrape. He disguised himself and hid in it until morning, when the children came out, then joined their games and played with them until it was time to return to the palace. The guards tried to question him, but the king's son himself ordered that he be let alone. In that way Rabscuttle made his way into the palace and hid in the storerooms, where he spoiled the king's food - especially the lettuces - so that everything the king and his people ate made them sick!

All the rabbits look at Rabscuttle, who is looking rather smug.

[acrookedpath]

So does Wei Wuxian, who immediately bursts into laughter when he sees Rabscuttle's expression.

That is clever! he says.

[lightamidchaos]

We thought so, says El-ahrairah, amused.

Rabscuttle wasn't discovered, Saxifrage continues, and after five days he slipped out undetected, leaving everyone in the palace sick behind him. Then it was the prince's turn. He disguised himself with berry juice and plants and all sorts of clever tricks, and presented himself to the king's guards as a physician sent by Prince Rainbow himself.

King Darzin saw him immediately, only to be horrified when El-ahrairah diagnosed him with an illness caused by eating his cherished lettuces, which had been infected by the dreaded Lousepedoodle. The prince was even able to prove it by having the guards collect a prisoner to try the poisoned food - because the prisoner was Rabscuttle, appearing like an everyday rabbit, who gave a very convincing performance of being poisoned.

It was at this point that Yona the hedgehog returned with the news that the rabbits were preparing for an invasion of the garden, and when he heard it King Darzin laughed aloud. 'I have thought of a trick worth two of that!' he exclaimed, and gave orders for a thousand lettuces to be delivered to the marshes of Kelfazin, where all the rabbits would eat them and be poisoned. El-ahrairah, in his guise of physician, approved of the king's cleverness, and took his leave.

And so it was that evening, when Prince Rainbow came to patrol, that he found that El-ahrairah had indeed succeeded with his trick, and all the rabbits were feasting on King Darzin's lettuces. He kept his word in turn, setting them free, and from that day to this, no power on earth can keep a rabbit out of a garden.

[acrookedpath]

"Louspedoodle" is such a ridiculous name for an illness that Wei Wuxian has to stifle another round of laughter against Lan Zhan's arm, lest he interrupt the story. What a fool, to fall for a trick like that! But that is the way of the most arrogant, he thinks: they believe themselves untouchable.

I have always wondered how rabbits sneak so easily into our fields, he laughs. And now I know! What a well-earned talent!

[lightamidchaos]

El-ahrairah visibly preens at this, and Rabscuttle can't help but look a little pleased himself.

It is one of my favorites of the stories, Saxifrage agrees. I would always ask Dandelion to tell it.

I wish I could have met Dandelion, Cloudfoot pipes up.

[acrookedpath]

Was he a great storyteller? asks Wei Wuxian.

Moving as little as possible beneath Lan Zhan's hand, he stretches to snag a lettuce leaf, then retreats back into Lan Zhan's lap to nibble on it.

[lightamidchaos]

With his free hand, Lan Wangji picks up two more lettuce leaves, one of bok choy, and a small carrot, and arranges them on his robes for Wei Ying to have when he wants. (There is no scarcity of choices among what he has brought; it is enough to feed ten rabbits, or more.)

One of the greatest! Saxifrage declares, excited. He hops closer to peer up at Wei Ying, rearing back and placing a paw on Lan Wangji's knee. And he was one of the original band who escaped the disaster and made the long journey with Hazel-rah and Fiver and the rest, and defeated Efrafa, and all of it!

[acrookedpath]

He was? Wei Wuxian's nose twitches rapidly, animated by Saxifrage's enthusiasm. That sounds like another story worth hearing, if you aren't too parched from the first!

[lightamidchaos]

Oh - if you're sure? I wouldn't want to bore anyone--

El-ahrairah stretches out on his side on the ground and twitches a starlit ear at them. I enjoy that story, he observes, mildly. Bearberry squeaks agreement and hops over closer to Wei Wuxian, hunching down over a selection of vegetables.

Saxifrage considers, and hops up on to Lan Wangji's knee, where he can see everyone, and nudges his nose against Wei Wuxian's side. Do you want to hear of the escape? Or tales of the journey? Or of General Woundwort and the Efrafans? Or--

[acrookedpath]

Ah, so many to choose from! Wei Wuxian sounds absolutely delighted by his good fortune. Start at the beginning. What disaster did they escape?

He grabs a stalk of bok choy and munches away.