He will have to savor this cup, then. For all the moments his thoughts jolted him to panic and awkwardness, he doesn't actually want Lan Zhan to go. Even if it will not be for long.
Maybe he will think of what to say in the handful of hours they are apart. I will hope to be a braver man tomorrow, as he said to Harrow. It does not have to be anything -- excessive. And it does not have to be right away, if he cannot find the words after all.
(And, he reminds himself with dark humor, there is always the option of spending the rest of his afterlife hiding in the woods if it goes poorly.)
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He will have to savor this cup, then. For all the moments his thoughts jolted him to panic and awkwardness, he doesn't actually want Lan Zhan to go. Even if it will not be for long.
Maybe he will think of what to say in the handful of hours they are apart. I will hope to be a braver man tomorrow, as he said to Harrow. It does not have to be anything -- excessive. And it does not have to be right away, if he cannot find the words after all.
(And, he reminds himself with dark humor, there is always the option of spending the rest of his afterlife hiding in the woods if it goes poorly.)